Perhaps I should tell you something before we begin. I am quite old and not easily impressed anymore. I hope you can understand how the novelty of well, novelty can were quite thin after five thousand years. Oh, yes, did I forget to mention that I am a vampire? Well, thee vampire actually. The one who made all of the others.
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I wish to apologize for the foolish spam and idiotic attempts at photoshoping currently flooding the tag “vampire adam” and I wish it to be known that I have nothing to do with nor do I approve of such wankstickary.